I am a people pleaser. I know there are tons of people out there just like me. We like to help everyone. To fix them. We want to be there all the time for them because thats what being a good friend is, right? This one simple act of kindness can actually be doing you more damage than good.
If you are the type of person that is continually saying YES every time someone asks for help, please stop right now. I am saying this from personal experience. You will start to stress yourself out and ultimately you will be basing your happiness on someone else’s happiness. The problem with this is that it doesn’t actually make you happy.
REASONS WHY YOU SHOULD STOP BEING A PEOPLE PLEASER:
- It stresses you out. Anxiety? You won’t have as much of it.
- You will have a lot more energy to do the things you want and need to do.
- Your happiness will be based on one thing: YOU!
How beautiful would that be.
I sat down with a friend tonight and had a long talk about all of this. We both are people pleasers. We both have realized that by being a people pleaser we aren’t making ourselves happy. The solution we came up with was by saying no a little more often.
Yes it’s okay to want to help your friends with their problems. That’s what friends are for. But you don’t have to continually go out to places you don’t want to go just to provide company. Find what you want to do and ask people to come with you. If they don’t come along then its going to be a fun personal experience and that is okay.
People are scared of saying no. They think that if they say no the opportunity won’t ever come around again. But what if the opportunity doesn’t come around again? Will you be okay? Yes. You will be just fine. Don’t live a FOMO (fear of missing out) life.
Self-care is so important and we often put that on the back burner. We don’t realize that by taking care of ourselves first we are in a better place to take care of the people we love.
Take the time to make yourself happy first.